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[12 Jan 2005|11:23am] |
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au revoir
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[25 Dec 2004|06:40am] |
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I just want to be a princess.
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[06 Dec 2004|08:41am] |
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it was all that vegan fudge i fed him.
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[01 Dec 2004|11:16pm] |
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mood |
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small and dissapointed. |
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music |
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Azure Ray-"Sea of Doubts." |
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hi im sick.
physically.
emotionally.
mentally.
all of them.
im sick.
back to meds and therapy we go.
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[26 Nov 2004|07:09pm] |
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mood |
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satisfied |
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music |
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Haste the Day-"Substance." |
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[22 Nov 2004|11:24pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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Through the Eyes of the Dead-"Beneath Dying Skies." |
] |
( radacularrrr. )
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[17 Nov 2004|10:26pm] |
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mood |
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refreshed |
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music |
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Eisley-"Telescope Eyes." |
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i know i know. its so sad. i will miss my braces forever.
hahahahaNOT.
i fucking love fall.
and cheesy smiles.
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[17 Nov 2004|01:27am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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music |
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Nickel creek-"Sabra Girl." |
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i get my braces off today. and my retainer on tomorrow. and then my glasses on friday. and alexa said. "haha, so you wont be a geek for one whole day?" it was funny. i didn't go to school yesterday or today. and both days, antony came over to check on me after school. i called him earlier. and his mom got on the phone and yelled
"ANTONY DINNER DONE. TIME TO COME EAT!!"
take in mind, she is AZN. it was the funniest thing ever. and we laughed about it a lot. im sad he cut all of his long hair off. because long hair is pretty. it still looks good, though.
i went to alexas. and then she came here to do homework on my computer. i fell asleep again and she was gone when i woke up. no note this time, though :(.
the rest of my night was horrible. and thats all that needs to be said.
Larkyn and sidekick Amber, thanks for the laugh though.
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[15 Nov 2004|09:26pm] |
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mood |
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ashamed |
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music |
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Jadakiss-"Kiss of Death." |
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After a full investigation on the death of Ben(R.I.P), I have come to the conclusion that his death was caused by Hampy. My son-ofa-bitch hampster did it. There is just no denying it.
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[14 Nov 2004|11:16pm] |
R.I.P, Ben.
I loved you.
even though you had a stupid name.
and kept me up all night.
you were cute and furry.
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[14 Nov 2004|05:22pm] |
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mood |
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in pain. |
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music |
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The Used-"The Taste of Ink." |
] |
sinus headache, go away.
leave leave leave.
EDIT 9:30: IM SERIOUS!
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[10 Nov 2004|10:34pm] |
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mood |
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whatever |
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music |
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Peaches-"Cum Undun." |
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DUH you know you want it.
too bad.
its my new love.
and you cant have it.
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[10 Nov 2004|12:19am] |
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mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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The Used-"The Taste of Ink." |
] |
hmm de haw.
alexa was here doing homework on my computer and i fell asleep and now she is gone. i wonder whats up. usually she would bug me or something. WAIT WAIT! i found a note. what a good wife. everyone is sleeping or away or stuff. and im wondering why kyles away message is the name of his fathers band. i tried to go back to bed. and my dog started chewing on my nose. and so i opened my eyes and frowned at her and she jumped on my head. dumb bitch. duh. i think my mother likes to make me feel like a horrible person. either that, or a really am one. every week there is something different wrong with me that she likes to nag on me about. this week, i need medication to balance my hormones when im PMSing because im psycho and a bitch and over emotional and could be deadly. next week it will probably be because my toes are too short. i need medication for everything, i guess. im just one big medication-needing basket case. aww.
anyways. i bought chocolate and vanilla soy milk the other day. its amazing. im listening to the used. and im bored. and yesterday i got kidnapped on the corner of 82nd and washington. avoid that corner, bitches. they'll get you. they just picked me right up and put me in the car and then sat on me. what jerks. and all i have eaten this week is some form of potatoes. seriously. if it wasnt a potatoe, i haven't eaten it this week. i mean, its only tuesday. thats still a lot of potatoes. shit im going to get fat. wait. im ungrounded today! yeah. thats right. i got grounded last tuesday. you know TUESDAY THE DAY THAT MY BIRTHDAY IS ON. what is with everyones mothers being bitches lately. im going to see my father on friday. and im kind of nervous. not because of him. because of june. ive noticed a pattern. if my grandmother is around, she is the sweetest ever to me. but if shes not, she is a cunt. CUNTY CUNT McCUNTERSON. its just because she knows i talk to my grandmother. and tell her stuff. and she doesnt want her to believe me. MAN I HATE TIGHTLY STRUNG OVER THE TOP SNOBS. actually. i love them. and they give me a motherfucking boner. oh well. i will go friday while she is working and leave saturday nightishafternoonishidontknowish. ill take my guitar and jam while they are sleeping. haha. piss the fuck out of them. yeah. so me and sean were talking yesterday. about how he would swear me in if i went into the military. which im going to if my brothers dont. its what i get for being raised in a military family. my dad is the only one in the family that didn't go. whatta crotch rot. anyways. i would be private wood. laugh. you know you want to.
HAHAHAHA OH MY GOD YOU GUYS MY BROTHER IS THE BEST!! i just remembered what he said yesterday while we were walking down the street. haha.
andrew:"i wonder what it would be like if the world was ruled by idiots.."
me:"pretty much like it is right now."
andrew:"no, thats just america."
hah. shit hes good.
k. ill stop rambling now. and try to go back to bed. where my dog is laying on my pillow.
its onnn.
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| hi. |
[07 Nov 2004|09:11pm] |
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mood |
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pissed off |
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music |
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The Red Chord-"L Formation." |
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i <3 anal sex.
FUCKMYASS
DOITDOITDOITDOIT
DOOOOOOO
IIIIIITT
!!!!!!!!
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[04 Nov 2004|10:35pm] |
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mood |
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content |
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music |
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Evergreen Terrace-"Understanding The Fear That Lies Within." |
] |
me so tiiiired.
monday i cleaned all day and moved my room around and cut and colored my brothers hair. ok. cool.
tuesday was my birthday and everybody brought me cake. i got like 5 of them. then i went to alexas house and we waited there for will to call and when he did, he wanted to hang out and told us to go meet him at arbys so we did and we waited there foreveeeer and so we were like 'hey lets go in that there store where its warm' and halfway through the parking lot we heard will yell at us in his lil john voice. haha. breaker and ant were with him. and so we walked breaker home because its along the way and ant, will and alexa came to my house. antony left at like 9:30 and then will went to breakers at 10 and then alexa went home. did my homework, went to bed. blah blah blah.
wednesday morning my neighbor gave me this letter that was for me but ended up in their mailbox. and i opened it at the bus stop and i could tell right away it was a card, a drawing and 3 pictures. it registered, then, that it was also june's handwriting on the front. the card said happy birthday yadda yadda and then my sister wrote "we mis you it is not fun with out you and we mis you. brendy" and then anthony and mason signed it. the picture was something my sister had drawn. she found one of my old drawings and copied it and just the fact that she idolizes me so much and wants to be so much like me makes me feel so so so bad because i haven't seen her in months. then the pictures were each of their new school pictures and thats what made me snap. and i just started crying so hard. just all out sobbing while kyanna and alexa just sat there and looked at me. i couldn't help it.
after school my grandparents picked up us kids and we went over to their house. i missed it so much. i havent seen them in months because i would have games on the days we usually would go there. they took us to the resteraunt for my birthday and i discovered that jami drath works for my grandparents there. strange. my stepmom also works wednesday nights so she works with my stepmom. its just weird. hah. she works with like..all my family. it was akward there with june. right when i got home, will called me from alexas and said they were coming over. because he loves my house. duh. my house is the shit. at around 10 we walked him to breakers and no one was home so we went to mcdonalds to use the payphone and have his friend come get him. he was giving me a piggy back ride and ran me into all these garbage cans and fences and then just dropped me. it was a fun night. did my homework, went to bed. blah blah blah.
tonight i stayed after school and watched ant in his game. he was so awesome. alexa had to go home so mike and will came with us. we went to kaylas first to get my stuff. stormy is back for a while. mike walked home from there and then will and alexa and i got back on the bus and went to my house. and hung out here. like fucking kool cids. yeah. i guess. will left at 10 again and then i took a shower and did laundry. and now im sitting here. waiting for mike to call me back.
will, mike and ant are coming over tomorrow night after their last last last game. we'll party it up. you know. yeah. its been fun. and im sure the ongoing, never ending, everlasting war i am in with my mother will end soon.
at least, i hope.
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[01 Nov 2004|08:22pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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predatory |
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music |
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Lamb of God-"Vigil." |
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WHY does my birthday have to be on election day?
what the fuck.
if anybody says something to me about it being election day before they say happy birthday, im going to kick them in the throat.
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[31 Oct 2004|09:57pm] |
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mood |
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angry |
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music |
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Dead Elizabeth-"Beauty In Details." |
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so basically.
im never going to get drunk again.
Abed and i are fine. totally cool.
andy wont even look at me.
and mike is lying to everyone. and telling everybody different things.
good.
bad.
worse.
mike and i were good friends. and he tells ME he doesn't remember anything that happened. but is telling certain other people that I took advantage of him which i know did not happen for many reasons that im going to keep between me and mike. hah. and then telling a lot of other people how good it was and stuff and blah blah blah all that guy stuff. and its bullshit. and it wouldn't be such a big fucking disaster if he could stick to one fucking story rather than make up multiple ones.
so because of something that happened because we were really drunk and really high, we have pretty much blown our whole friendship. thats really killing me.
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[30 Oct 2004|03:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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bored |
] |
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music |
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Coheed and Cambria-"Neverender." |
] |
this week has been good, i suppose.
minus the truckloads of shit ive been getting for the party last friday.
me: do you know what that kids name is?
leah: no, why?
me: because hes really hot.
leah: what the fuck IS IT with you thinking dirty looking boys with long hair are hot?
haha. i guess shes right. all the guys that fit my fancy pretty much fit into that description.
last night on the way to the TC, alexa saw this neon sign in a store window and she gets all excited about it and tells how she wants it so bad. i asked her what it said and she said "there is a smiley face and then it says 'pen', but i just want it because of the smiley face on it". i just thought it was weird but i didn't think anything of it. and brandon goes "open?" and we had no idea what he was talking about so we ignored him. and literally 3 minutes after he said that alexa and i looked at eachother and started laughing hysterically. the sign said 'open'. duhhh.
i like how all of my friends parents are really nice to me in person but as soon as im not around, they always have something rediculously rude and snotty to say about me.
ashley is/was supposed to come live with me. once her mother gets custody of her. because ashley hates her father and stepmother. as do i. jesus christ.
anyways.
ashley and her dad were fighting and she finally told him how her mother is getting custody of her and she is going to live with me and he EXPLODED with how i live in a trash bin and i have problems(undoubtedly, he thinks that because he has witnessed my mother and i fight numerous times just because hes been in the wrong place at the wrong time and heard the things we say to eachother, and because my scars on my legs and arms were beyond visible in my volleyball uniform.) and how i have a fucked up life. and why he would say that to her, i have no idea. OBVIOUSLY she is going to tell me.
oh and thank you AMY BRACKET! for telling your mother, whom i had for a substitute teacher for 3 months in 6th grade, about what i did at the party. thank you thank you thank you. AND JEFF BRACKET! thank you for introducing me to everyone in the grandstands. haha. god damnit i love the bracket family.
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[27 Oct 2004|09:04pm] |
im an old decaying bridge.
flaking away piece by piece.
and each one goes spinning off.
on another dirty tire.
time is breaking me down much too fast.
im falling apart just too fast.
ill cave in soon, just you wait.
one more semi.
and ill break through.
dont blink.
itll happen fast.
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